eliza

    he doesn't want her red. he doesn't want her furious or hysterical. if she were to scream, cry or laugh out loud he would turn his head.
    the second she's passionate she becomes an animal, ravenous. if there are any tears on her face it might as well be the blood of prey. happy or sad, extreme is unfit for a woman.
    he may go to war. celebrate in the flesh of enemies. he may drink, smoke, intoxicate himself to the fullest. his stumbles are triumphant.
    but don't let her frown. don't let her love anything more than how much he "loves" her. he only likes her frail, needy and blank. never excited by anything but his touch.

warholizer.

fanta-sea

a big blue boulevard.

i'm beginning to notice the structure of living in wavelengths.

i throw my hands upward and raise an eyebrow, mouth hanging open with a perfect excuse.

the long fits of happiness always plunge away from me. it's a beginning and an ending, a collage of events that keep me swimming.
but i always resurface. the sun smiling upon me.

this architecture is average. there wouldn't be oceans if only puddles existed. swarms of boxy neighborhoods flood the earth.
some will sink. some will struggle. but we are all just floating.

condense.

i believe you feel the heat. you wouldn't come around if you didn't.
but heat is easy to emit. easy to partake.
i believe you like the ideas of me. you like someone looking back at you.

i believe in momentum.

i know you've had the best of intentions. i always do too. we make these connections and we break good intentions....but a promise is a disgusting thing.
i believe that you believe in the beautiful thing that you and i were supposed to be.

summer.

my self worth is shrinking. decision making skills seeping.
    thought i was better than this and thought you were too, but now the thought remainders make me shudder.
    breath heavy with a good time.
    bodies limp from disinterest.
    but your bored curiosity persists.
    i know you were wrong, but i was never right. trying to make replacements out of an unfaithful situation.
    this is bad.
i'm losing myself.
i don't know if i should pick up a new. or use what strength i have left to repair the damage.
she's in here somewhere.

"you didn't fail; you just tripped."